30-Day Blog Love Affair:: Day #24!

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You asked for crush details, so I’m going to be brave and spill the beans…at least a few beans for now.

If you have been following along in my world at all, you have probably noticed that I never, like ever, talk about my romantic life.  In fact, up until this lil’ blog experiment, I’ve talked very little about my personal life off the canvas, AT ALL.  There are a couple of reasons for this.  One is that I have a story about keeping things private online which is really interesting because I’m really quite the open book in real life.  The other reason is that I’m totally scared I might jinx a good thing.

You see, I had an experience last summer where I fell really hard for someone I met at Burning Man.  After one magical week with this person, I was sure he was “the one”.  I proceeded to gush to my family and friends (and even to a group of workshop participants) about this new love in my life only to have the whole thing go terribly south on our second meeting—in Italy.  Yep, super romantic trip gone horribly wrong.

So, with my tail between my legs and a whole lot of lessons learned, I re-entered the land of being single once again.  I was pretty content there after the Burning Man debacle “learning opportunity” but after about six months of not meeting anyone, I decided to join an online dating site.  Yes, you read that right.  This felt like a seriously brave move for me, but with the rest of my life online, it also seemed like a really reasonable way to meet someone.

After pouring my heart into my online dating profile (it was like a part time job for a minute there), I went on a total of about 15 first dates with only a few of them leading to second dates.  Soon, I started to feel…tired.  (I kept joking to my friends that my next book would be called, Brave Intuitive Dating).  Truth is, I found the process to be quite interesting and entertaining in a social experiment kind of way, but it was also completely exhausting.  So exhausting that I was ready to throw in the towel but not before I went on one last date!  As luck, or the stars, or my manifestation powers or ____,  would have it, this last date was really easy, fun and romantic.  Kismet!

It’s been six weeks now and I still feel giddy every time I’m about to see….let’s call him “my crush.”  Our time together feels like good medicine for me—grounded, easy, nurturing and sweet while still being exciting, passionate and new—a winning combo for sure.  I obviously have no idea where this is going, but it sure is a great way to practice being in the moment and not get ahead of myself.  Gotta love dating for that opportunity.

So there, I said it and I’m going to trust I didn’t jinx it :) I could definitely go on and on about what it’s like to date at age 38, the vulnerabilities in my heart and how stepping into something new always rattles me to the core in certain ways, but I think I’m going to stop with this one baby step.

“Blogging about Dating 101″

Until tomorrow…wishing you well.

xo flora

 

29 Comments

  1. Bravo Brave Flora!! Both my daughters (mid 20′s) found their loves via dating sites and I see them as a very real and serious option for dating. So happy to hear you are giddy – it should feel that way! I wish you nothing but the best for you!!

  2. I so love reading your blog and your book. I never comment, but I wanted to this time. I met my hubby when I was 38 and had given up hope. I am now 47, we have been happily married for almost 9 years, we have two amazing kids and he still rocks my world. I was a clutz in love and thought it wasn’t for me, what I didn’t realise was that I hadn’t found him yet.

    I wish you so much love, luck and happiness. You are beautiful, Mr Right will know that, hopefully it’s Mr Crush. Hugs xx

  3. Gasp! How lovely! Without wishing to jump the gun on your part (cue me jumping the gun) – I too met a man via internet dating (just after the date with the guy who smelled of vegetable stock).
    We clicked instantly, it was like everything came into sharp focus. Two weeks later he moved in because we ‘just knew’. We’ve been together 4.5yrs, married for 3 and I’m currently growing our first fluttery little baby. Not a day goes past where we don’t acknowledge how happy we are together, how much we appreciate finding each other (having kissed our fair share of frogs / frogettes along the way – he’s 43, I’m almost 39). So all I’m saying is enjoy the giddiness and go with it, you never know where it might take you and sometimes you have to have your heart broken before you’re ready to recognise ‘the one’ so Mr Burning Man may have served a great purpose! Good luck :-)

  4. In this, as with every other thing you do, you are an inspiration, dear Flora. Seeing your easy joy around…’your crush’…makes me giddy, too! I’m givin’ you an easy ‘thumbs up’ on this one…regardless of where it leads…seeing you together NOW feels pretty, damn yummy for those of us who love you. ANND…you’ve gone and inspired me to create my own profile on said dating site. Social experiment indeed! We shall see what comes of it…maybe I’ll start my own blog about dating at 37. ;) xo!

  5. I’m SO happy for you!!! Well done for taking that brave intuitive step (your book comment made me LOL For Real ! )

  6. How wonderful to hear this – I’m so so happy for you and right here, right now is the way to go — how could he not be drawn to such a wonderful,giving person ……Brave Intuitive Flora……….xx

  7. Hiya!

    I was just thinking casually about romance and vulnerability and getting out there while scrolling through Facebook (because that thought is too scary to face head on!) and stumbled upon your post. It brought a huge smile to my face. :)

    This all reminded me of Brene Brown, watch her talks on TED whenever you have a moment. They are absolutely inspiring.

    http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability.html
    http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_listening_to_shame.html

    I wish you all the love and happiness you deserve,

    Amanda x

  8. I am so happy for you! I met my hubby online (remember MySpace, lol). As soon as we met in person, we both knew that we were meant for each other. We have been together for 5 1/2 years and married for 4 1/2 years. I love him more and more everyday.

    Wishing you lots of luck, love, and joy. You deserve the best!

  9. I’m loving your blog! And I wanted to tell you almost 3 years ago, at 38 too, I was in the exact same place and doddling with online dating and feeling discouraged and told my best friend that I was happy with my life and giving up on that part but decided to go on a couple more and then very shortly after met the most wonderful, soulful man in all my life, and almost 3 years later we are really deeply, deeply happy together. Wishing you all the same joy!
    Ps- loving your art in my office and our home!

  10. So happy for you! I am 58 and met my love online after filtering through about 10 men who proved to be duds. Love can happen online. We are together now 4 yrs. Best of luck and love to you, Flora!

  11. Hi Flora,
    I took your class a while back in Melbourne. I too met my husband online, now we have a beautiful baby girl and I tell everyone that will listen to try online dating as it’s probably the best decision I ever (reluctantly) made.
    xxoo
    Sandra

  12. I am smiling and feeling a little giddy with you. I think it is so wonderful that you shared. Enjoy each moment.

  13. “your crush” is a lucky duck. you are beautiful inside and out.

  14. At 60 I met the love of my life on line after about 10 duds that I wanted to go nowhere. We are happily living in the sunny Okanagan Valley and I will be taking your on line course soon!!!! Good things can come of on line adventures, if we just keep our eyes open. Best of luck! Marilyn

  15. this is so brave Flora that I had to comment. I’ve loved all your 30 Day posts but this is such a big step, well done! i can really hearing your writer’s voice becoming more confident as time goes on :)

  16. Really happy for you. Its sooo good to be giddy in the moment, no matter where it leads later. Awww :)

  17. Yay!
    Thank you for sharing this…. I’ll totally read your brave intuitive dating book ;)

    My well of hope just got some new cool clear water. :)

    May it unfold in a beautiful way… what ever that may be.
    Yaay!

  18. Thats how I met my husband! 11 months after meeting we eloped and have been together 9 years.

    How exciting for you, and for him, you are quite a catch Flora, he must be a pretty cool dude….

    Ahhhh Love

  19. We need to talk my friend! Seriously…we need to write a book about the online dating world! And you need to give more details and I need to share with you…all good things my friend! Much love…xoxo

  20. I love you blogs! Lately, they are the highlight of my day (which probably means I need to get in my studio and paint more…). I will miss them, and you, when the 30 blog series is done. I’m a huge fan of your paintings, your process, your book. You inspire me, your book challenges me. Keep painting, writing, blogging, teaching. Your light shines SO bright and you inspire me to shine my light too. Thank you for you and all you do for art and the world.

  21. it’s when you step off your yoga mat and into the world, you have to trust the process of life…..the unknown…the mystery. how magical it is to finally feel safe to let go and just enjoy each moment with no expectations (that’s the hard part). Love is all we need. if you find someone you are compatible with and you can mesh your lives in LOVE….everything, and I mean everything will be ok. Can’t wait to see what flows from your heart into,your art now!

  22. Love hearing your story about online dating. You know women love all the details! :) I think online dating is the best way to meet someone with things in common with you. I met my sweetie that way too and now we’re married! (I met my late husband that way too so I’m feeling blessed to have found True Love twice). You’re being a great roll model for sharing about your personal life. I think it really draws people in to want to know more. You’re the top blog I read on my Bloglovin list. :)

  23. Flora, this is a good time in your life. If your crush doesn’t turn out to be the ONE, it’s okay. You are sharing happy moments together and learning what you want in your partner and more importantly, what you don’t want. I believe humans are pre-wired to find our soul mates. It took 50 years, a less than happy childhood, 2 failed marriages, and countless unsuccessful relationships to find my prince. We were best friends for a couple of years before actually courting (do people still use that word?!). Now we have been married 13 years, and I love him more with each passing day. He is my heart, my soul, and my joy. I wish everyone could know this kind of love. The world would certainly be a better place.

  24. I think the excitement of the first fling of romance is the most testing part of our lives…it teaches us to stay grounded, have patience, stay in-the-moment and most of all to stay true to ourselves and just BE ourselves! We often try TOO hard to please, make too much effort, get too excited and become unbalanced but at 34 I met my hubby, we have been together now ten years and I was really confident,calm and totally relaxed with him. I didn’t push for too much, I didn’t pretend to be something I wasn’t…I decided to be just me from the beginning…and guess what?? He’s still here ..loves me warts n all lol! If he’s your true bloom partner then you will have no insecurities, no doubts, no jealousies..you will just bloom!!! If he’s not then he was probably BLOOMing awful anyway and not worth wasting energies looking back on! Hee hee! Enjoy your time with him, cherish the memories as its better to have memories than dreams! Hopefully he will be in your dreams with you for always and forever! Bliss! That’s what your feeling! Not a feeling in the world like it! Xxxxxxx

  25. Good on you Flora! You are definitely taking your own advice…be brave! I wasn’t so brave…I once went on a dating service with two other single mums and we went on dinner for 6 dates! It was great fun and we made a really good friend from it. He took us all out on seperate dates…clever man! You sound really happy and you deserve it. All that you are giving is coming back to you. Thanks for sharing this and allowing your vulnerability to come out in the daylight…it makes it feel safer for us to do the same. x

  26. How lovely that you’ve met someone that you’re enjoying being with! us humans weren’t meant to be alone for to long. I have recently met someone too! At 50 I thought I was over dating and that it would be next to impossible to find someone. Luckily I was wrong. I’ll tell you the story when I see you in Bali!!

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