30-Day Blog Love Affair:: Day #10!
[Image by Zipporah Lomax]
As I type this, my friend Tara is across the street on a massage table receiving an hour of healing energy work from one of my healer angels, Mandy. I gifted this session to Tara because I believe so much in this work and there is nothing I would rather give a dear friend than the gift of healing. I’ve also been gushing to Tara about Mandy’s amazing sessions for over a year now, so I’m very excited for Tara to receive Mandy’s work first hand. Woah, I *just* realized as I wrote that how much attachment I have around Tara having an AMAZING experience with Mandy— just like I always do. Good to notice. Alright, I’m going to exhale that expectation right…..now. Cool. Whatever will be will be
Funny, I had no idea what I was going to write today when I sat down. Admittedly, I spent approximately a third of my yoga class this morning thinking about what to write…not exactly being present on the mat. But, as I sit here now, all I can think about are the parallels between this writing process and my painting process. The difference with writing is that I feel like…
a total beginner.
A total beginner when writing from the heart, that is, which feels way different than writing at a comfortable distance from my heart. Yet, this is exactly what I ask of my students as they step in front of the blank canvas. I ask them to let go of expectations, tune into their intuition and allow their heart to lead the way. I ask them to step towards the feeling of NOT KNOWING, to embrace the mystery head on.
As a person who has been painting for twenty years now, it’s pretty damn easy for me to embrace this kind of blank canvas mystery. I know, from experience, that if I keep moving paint around and adding layers, eventually something will happen. From experience, I know that my creative process is so much more about showing up rather than having some great master plan. It’s about allowing and being brave way more than it’s about planning and plotting. Ultimately, it’s about TRUSTING.
And, guess what? TRUSTING is what this love affair is all about too (like any good love affair!) TRUSTING that I have something worthy to say. TRUSTING that my perspective matters. TRUSTING that I won’t be negatively judged by exposing my true self. TRUSTING that the words will come when I sit down at a blank screen. TRUSTING everyday for 30 days.
BTW, Tara just returned from her session.
She loved it.
Now for some more quality time…